Mamma's decided that now that spring is here, I'm not allowed online between 7 a.m. and 5 p.m. There are two really frustrating things about that; first, that I've been paying the phone bill, among other bills (which is why I'm working two days a week at a job I hate and not making a penny for myself), and the second is that finding time for things like checking email and updating logues and reading submissions is already hard enough. The last thing I need is for it to be even harder! That's not fair.
Sooo...basically, this means that I get Monday evening, Friday evening, and Saturday, plus two hours Sunday morning, Tuesday/Wednesday morning every other week, Thursday morning, and Friday morning, if I can manage to be up by 5. (With my schedule the way it is, I rarely can...too many late nights and early mornings. Basically, it's just evenings for me.) But when am I supposed to find the time to do the things I need to do online? I've already cut out forums on weekdays and Sundays...now I'm losing more time.

I can't do this.

I'm not angry, really; anger takes energy that I don't have anymore. I'm just sort of hurt and overwhelmed. I'd like to cry, actually. It's been like a game, recently, and I'm the playing piece; see how much you can put on top of Keesa before she squishes.

I'm feeling pretty squishy today...

But, I wrote today!!
And I mean wrote! I sat down and hammered out over a thousand words on 'Crown and Glory' (whose title I think I'm finally happy with). I have a pretty good idea of where it's going (although, I got a little lightning bolt of inspiration earlier, and I need to find a way to work it into the storyline). I'm also pleased with the characterization so far.

I'm a little nervous about the story itself; it's a much faster-paced, tenser (more tense?) story than I'm used to writing...I write melancholy little stories, stories with more emotion than action. Stories like 'Russka's Last Painting' and 'To Dance with a Hurricane' and 'To Name a Star'. Those sorts of stories. Even in Streams, where the danger is physical, the struggle is still emotional. Crown and Glory is different...it has spies and assassins and brigands and the heroine's life is in danger a couple of times. I'm not used to writing those kinds of stories, and a little nervous about how it will turn out.

I guess that's what rewrites are for, no? :-)

And, I'm on Day 24 of Club 100--one day away from being a quarter of the way done! I'd like nothing better than to get on the Nano forums and see how everyone else is doing, and share my own success, but I can't do that until tomorrow. Meh.

I'm so glad that tomorrow's Saturday. A day without responsibilities! A day to be lazy! I cant believe I signed up to go to the counseling seminar next week...inserting more stuff into my week? Disrupting Friday and Saturday, my only full days at home? What was I thinking?!

Well, I was thinking that the counseling seminar was an opportunity that I didn't need to miss. That's what I was thinking. But that doesn't make me fell any better about giving up Friday and Saturday.